Oh, no.
Sometimes, we make really bad mistakes. And the results cannot be undone. Results we have to live with in the future. These bad things happen.
And they cause massive bad feelings. Deep remorse, anger at oneself, enormous guilt. Which is normal in such cases. Many people experience this.
Yet, regardless of what happened and how bad the results were, we need to process these feelings. Getting stuck in them – and that happens quite often – will lead to a deeply unhappy life.
This is not about forgiveness. That may come later, and you may even forgive yourself eventually. I’m talking about living with the outcome and yet working through those feelings and eventually letting them go. And it’s your decision whether you want to keep suffering because of the mistake, or if you choose to go through the process and reach acceptance eventually.
Maybe a ritual can help. Don’t laugh. I’m not talking about churches or needing a priest (although those can help, too, if you’re leaning that way). All you need is the earnest desire to process those feelings and move beyond them.
Such a ritual can be highly individual. It could be a cleansing bath with special scents. Maybe you’d like to use smudge sticks and sit meditating to let the emotions go. Perhaps it feels good to write it all out on a piece of paper and then burn it to release the feelings. And if there has been real damage because of your mistake, you may consider giving to a charity to make amends.
Whatever you do, it must feel right for you.
And of course, there is also tapping:
Even though I did something bad, or something bad happened because of me, I’m still a good person and now choose to make amends and reach for acceptance.
Even though I’m going through hell because I made this horrible mistake, I’m still loveable and I now choose to find ways of dealing with it in a good way.
Even though I’ve lived with feeling bad about this horrible mistake for so long, I’m allowed to enjoy life and I now choose to find the best ritual and make the necessary restitution so I can find my way back to a good life.
Those times are the most difficult in a life. Give yourself the space and time to deal with those mistakes gently but firmly. Allow yourself to release the bad feelings at the right speed. It helps no-one if you walk around in sackcloth and ashes for the rest of your life.
I want to reassure you that it is very possible to find a good way of dealing with the mistakes and the bad results. Doing so allows you to continue with your life – often with a changed mindset. And that is a good outcome.
*Image Source: F. Moebius
PS: If you are looking for help with this kind of thing, drop me an email, and we’ll arrange a skype call to determine how I can best support you.