Last month, I talked about the family system and how it can be harsh and uncaring as a system. And while that remains true, there is also a huge amount of love and loyalty within each family system.
And that loyalty and love can be expressed in many, many ways. Usually, however, family members express it by being “like” or similar to their parents. This extends into all areas of life, up to and including the amount of money we subconsciously allow ourselves to have or make.
Do not earn more money than Daddy.
That’s actually a common rule. It can even be one of those family rules passed down without actually talking about them.
By being like Daddy (or Mom), we show our love and loyalty.
And thus, earning a massively larger amount of money than either of them, or just your father if he brought in the money can feel like an act of betrayal or unlove.
Which means that subconsciously, we do everything to reduce the amount of money we earn or have, to reclaim the loyalty and love. It’s almost an automatic process, an expression of the family system that “demands” unchanging balance.
So it’s possible we get this great-paying job, or do really well in our business – and then suddenly, it all goes away, and leaves us with what we used to have before.
Family System Dynamics in action
And it’s not even a conscious choice. However, it is a pattern visible to the trained eye.
And now that you know, you can probably see it for yourself, maybe in your own family, maybe with friends.
Once again, we can use EFT to shift this – because there are many, many ways to express love and loyalty. You can choose to do it in a different way than just sticking to the same level of income. Your wonderful mind will show you a way.
Even though I have learned to express my love and loyalty by sticking to the same income level as my Dad, I’m totally okay the way I am, and I now choose to show this love and loyalty in a much better way.
Even though one of our family rules is to never earn more than Dad, I’m totally okay the way I am, and I now choose to know that it’s okay to have more money and still love and be loved in my family.
Even though it is common in my family to express our love and loyalty by being just like our parents, I’m totally okay the way I am, and I now give myself permission to discover a new and much more satisfying way of expressing my love and loyalty for my parents.
Have you discovered a pattern in your life about money and your parents?
How did that feel?
What happened while you were tapping?
And finally – in which area do you want to grow this month?
Would love to hear from you!
Image Source: F. Moebius
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