Family and Money
We have explored beliefs about money and rich people. Now we’ll take the Money Mindset to yet another level: Family System Dynamics, or systemic family constellations.
Let me quickly cover the basics:
Each family is a little system in itself. And that system has its own rules. But there are three basic laws that apply to every family.
Every family member belongs to the family, irrevocably. (Even the ex.)
There is a certain order to the family members.
There has to be a balance of giving and receiving.
Now, one of the biggest fears that every person has is to be kicked out of the family system – even if that is against the rules. In fact, being ostracized by one’s family is a death sentence for children. That’s why children always and quite automatically adjust to whatever rules exist in a family, spoken or unspoken. We will always, always do our best to fit in.
Now imagine what happens when one of the family rules says:
If you want to be one of us, you have to earn a certain level of money. No more, no less.
Boom. Trapped.
Of course, this is just a belief, but it’s usually hidden so deeply that it’s hard to detect – unless you know about this kind of dynamic.
So think about your family. I expect that you’ll find most of the family members (and uncles and aunts etc.) have a certain life-style and level of affluence. Some may have more and some may have less, but not by a lot.
And then there might be that uncle who is always broke and who everyone makes fun of. His miserable life is used as a warning, too: “Better do what we do and say, or you’ll end up like Uncle Angus.”
And maybe, just maybe, there is a rebel who earns a lot more. And at a guess, your family doesn’t speak well of her. “Oh, we no longer talk to her. She’s so arrogant, and she never helps us out.”
Of course, there is the rule that every family member belongs, and the system doesn’t react well to someone being cast out – but that rule is so deep most people are not aware of that, either.
So the unspoken threat is there: Stay in a certain income bracket, or face our wrath.
What can you do if you want to have more money than that?
You release the limiting belief, and remember that no matter what, you belong to the family system. They can’t kick you out. And with that energy shift, the whole system will shift, as well.
I use EFT to do that heavy lifting.
Even though my family has a rule about the amount of money members can make, I’m totally okay the way I am, and I now choose to know deep inside that they can’t kick me out even if I make a lot more money.
Even though I learned that my family members live at a certain level of affluence, and I have tried hard to stick to that rule, I’m still totally okay, and I now give myself permission to break that rule and still be a part of my family.
Even though I learned that only a certain level of income is acceptable in my family, and I have tried to stick to that, I’m still totally okay the way I am, and I now give myself permission to become rich and still be a member of my family.
Your Turn:
Did you find the level of your family’s accepted income?
How did that feel?
What happened while you were tapping?
And finally – in which area do you want to grow this month?
Would love to hear from you!
Image Source: F. Moebius
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