The Shoe Mentality

That other shoe

That Other Shoe

What is that?

Well, for many of us, life is like having a pair of shoes, one of good luck and one of bad luck. You have to have both in your life, right? And you take an equal number of steps in each of them, don’t you?  Good and bad balance each other, compliment each other, and only the sum of both gives a whole.

And if you have a lucky streak, you worry about when that other shoe is going to drop.

I’m very familiar with that kind of thinking. And as kid, I tried not to be too happy, because I was afraid that other shoe would drop even faster and harder if I were. I wonder how many people do this in our world.  And it makes me sad.

Because it’s a lie.

There is no balance of good and bad. There is no natural law that says one good moment must be balanced out by one bad moment. You cannot add up good and bad and arrive at zero.

And thus there is no reason to limit our happiness.

We can just enjoy being happy. And even better, if you are happy, you’ll get more of it. I was never told that as a kid. In fact, my grandma used to warn me: “Be careful, don’t be too happy.”

So in reality, it’s only our beliefs that limit our happiness. If you think it’s time to get rid of that shoe mentality, you are right. No need to drop any more shoes on anyone, let alone yourself.

And this is one way of doing it and allowing yourself to be simply happy:

Even though I learned as kind that good and bad must balance out and I will have equal amounts of each in my life, I’m okay the way I am, and I’m open to the possibility that this is not a natural law.

Even though I learned to limit my happiness in order to limit the bad things coming at me just to maintain the balance, I’m totally okay the way I am and I’m open to the possibility that this is just a convenient lie that parents tell to their kids.

Even though I’m still a little afraid of being really, really happy, because that other shoe could still drop and knock me out, I’m okay the way I am and I’m open to the possibility that this other shoe just doesn’t exist.

So what did your parents tell you about happiness and how much of it you deserve? Let me know in a comment.

Image source: F. Moebius

PS: If you want to dig deeper and release your happiness from your self-imposed limits, schedule a free assessment call with me here.

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