Worry = Love?



Most of us know how to worry. We allow our thoughts to bring up images of destruction, failure and loss. We spend time and time again with scenarios that just might be. Worry even prevents much needed sleep, keeping us awake. All in all, worry robs us of precious energy.

It doesn’t make sense. And yet, we keep doing it. Why?

Because worrying solves problems.


I firmly believe that all behaviour makes sense on some level or other. And so I believe that even worrying makes sense. It is a problem solver that can become a problem by itself. That’s all it is, no more, no less.

So what does worrying do for us?

1. It prevents us from actually doing something. Action is risky. Action can result in failure. Being stuck in worry prevents us from making mistakes or failing. And yes, it also prevents us from being successful, but that’s less important to a subconscious that wants to protect us at all cost. It loves us to the point of overprotection.

2. It can serve as expression of love for others. My grandmother was ailing and ill, stuck in an old people’s home. She spent her time worrying about her children and grandchildren. Sometimes she complained that all this worrying kept her from enjoying her life and sleeping well. But she couldn’t stop worrying any more than she could stop loving her children. Worrying was an expression of love for her – and not worrying would have meant betraying her kids.

So if you find yourself worrying a lot about many things you may not even be able to change – take a closer look. What are you not doing while you worry? And how may that thing you are not doing threaten you? Think simple, think literally, think like a child. That’s how the subconscious works.

And recognize that this worry that bothers you so much really is an expression of love. Allow this realization to soften how you feel about worrying – and then you can ease away from it in a gentle, caring way. Allow yourself to experience that life without worry is okay, safe, and might even be fun. You and your subconsious deserve to learn this.

Here are some EFT set-up phrases to help you on your way:

Even though I once learned that worrying is safe and a way of expressing love, I’m okay the way I am, and I am open to the possibility that there are other ways of loving myself and expressing love that might be just as safe and yet more fun.

Even though I have this habit of worrying that keeps me safe, I’m okay the way I am and I’m open to the possibility that it might also be safe to enjoy life more than I do now.

Even though worrying has kept me safe from many risks, I’m okay the way I am and now I allow myself to explore ways of enjoying life that are also safe but way more fun.

Tap with these, play around with them and then lovingly limit your worrying to 10 minutes every hour. Feel free to enjoy the other 50 minutes.

What are your main worries? Please share in the comments – and also share set-up phrases so we can help each other out.

And if you feel that you want some help in shifting your relationship with worry, feel free to contact me.

Image Source: F. Moebius

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