Steam Engine
Do you still remember your childhood dreams about what you would do as grown-up? Did they include being a stewardess, a superhero, a firefighter, an actor, a dancer or maybe an archaeologist? Or did you want to be an engineer and drive a train all over the country? Or anything else? I hope you’re smiling a little now.
Of course, then there were our parents and their suggestions for getting a “sensible job”. And that probably included going to college and then working for a law firm, or a big company, a bank, selling insurance or something along the lines. A “job job” that brings in the money and ideally helps build a nest egg. And there’s always the house and a big car. So, this is the career we find ourselves in.
Those are solid jobs, and the advice was always well meant. And yet, those jobs are mostly one thing: Boring. At least compared to the childhood dreams, they are!
Why do we do this? Why do we give up our childhood dreams? For two main reasons: We’re being good kids who listen to our parents. And then there is something much more subtle and insidious: expectations.
I’m trained in seeing families as systems, with their own laws and balances. And very often, children do something completely subsconciously for their parents: They live their parents’ dream job. It’s part of the system. And it happens more often than you’d think. (It happened to me. Fortunately, I can combine being a therapist and a teacher with my own joy in writing and English.) And it’s not always a bad thing, either.
However, if you find yourself stuck in a job that feels wrong, it’s worth checking back in: Is this something my parents recommended? Or is this something my mom or dad always wanted to be? The clues might be very small. Even so, it’s time to take a close look at what makes you happy.
Now, I’m not telling you to hand in your notice tomorrow. But if you’re deeply unhappy in your job or even your business, it might be time to let go of the invisible chains that expectations put on you. Because then you are free to follow your own inner calling and make a sensible and reasonable plan to get there.
Let’s tap.
KP: Even though I find myself in this job and have no real idea why I ever chose it, I’m okay the way I am and I’m open to the possibility that this choice doesn’t have to be forever.
Even though I got this job because my parents said this is how life is, I’m okay the way I am and I’m open to the possibility that life is different now than when my parents were young.
Even though I feel stuck in a job I hate, I’m okay the way I am and I’m open to the possibility that I can give myself permission to do something else.
IE: I got this job … and I hate it.
OE: It’s sooooo booooring.
UE: I’ve done it for years now.
UN: And I’m good at it.
CP: But I hate it.
CB: I don’t even know why I went for it!
UA: And now I’m stuck!
AW: And I hate the job and I hate being stuck!
Take a deep breath!
IE: But what if I don’t have to stay in this job?
OE: What if I’m allowed to do something my parents didn’t recommend.
UE: What if I just listen to my heart for a while?
UN: Nope, can’t do it, or I would break down and cry.
CP: I have to stick it out until retirement.
CB: At least that’s what I’m telling myself.
UA: That’s the sensible thing to do.
AW: But I hate it!
Take a deep breath!
IE: I choose to let go of my parents’ expectations.
OE: I choose to make my own decisions now.
UE: And I allow myself to listen to my heart.
UN: There’s no need to hand in my notice tomorrow.
CP: I can take my time to figure out what my heart says.
CB: And I can make a plan to get there.
UA: But now I allow myself to dream a little.
AW: And to remember my childhood fantasies.
Take a deep breath!
IE: I allow myself to listen to my heart!
OE: And I allow myself to be surprised by the answers.
UE: I allow myself to be surprised by the wisdom of my heart.
UN: And then I can choose a plan of action.
CP: I can use all my abilities as adult, and everything I have learned
CB: to change my life and make my heart sing.
UA: In a sensible way.
AW: And that feels incredibly good!
Take a deep breath!
So what’s your dream? What makes your heart sing? Tell me in the comments.
Image courtesy of: F. Möbius
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