Most of us are familiar with that inner voice. I mean the voice that somtimes warns of danger, but which usually just makes us feel inadequate, not good enough or really small. The voice that tells to be careful about being happy. The voice that writers call “the inner critic”.
And sadly, that voice has taken up residence in almost everyone.
On the other hand, very few people know that this voice can be tamed, and even transformed. With a bit of work (and tapping!), this inner voice and critic can be persuaded to speak to us very differently.
You see, the voice is simply a safety program. We installed it in ourselves as kids, which is why it often sounds like our own mother. That’s because it was usually our mother who tried to keep us safe and do things – and we integrated that in our minds.
Why in the world would we do such a thing? Back then it was simple: The safety program kept us out of trouble. It warned us away from dangerous things. (Don’t toucht that!) It saved us from mom being angry at us. (Well … maybe you shouldn’t raid that cookie jar. Bad girl.) And we learned not to do those things and thus learned control over things we wanted and couldn’t or shouldn’t do. So it wasn’t an entirely bad thing at all.
The problem with this safety program is that it never got an update as we grew up. It still works as it did way back when we were kids. And thus it keeps us at a kids’ level of emotion and protection.
Fortunately, we can update this old safety program fairly easily, especially with EFT. Here’s how – it takes three steps.
Step 1: Thank the safety program
Thank it? What?, I hear you say. Even though that might be the last thing on your mind, you need to thank that voice. Because it did what it was supposed to do: It kept you safe. It kept you inside the comfort zone where nothing threatening happens. That was its job, and it did it well. No need to blame it for never getting an update, after all.
Step 2: Explain the need for an update
Now it is time to tell your safety program that it’s time for an update. Explain that your now a grown-up and that you need different things from that old program. It’s like adapting your bobby car to driving on the highway. You need a real car for that, after all.
Step 3: Find a new job for the safety program
This one is highly individual, and I can’t solve it for you. I can give you some hints, though. Maybe you want a cheerleader team? Or possibly a coach or advisor who helps you make reasonable decsions? Or you might want a good friend who supports you and helps you through difficult times? (Actually, you can have all of that but that’s a different topic.) You can even go through this exercise again and adapt your program whenever necessary.
And here’s some tapping to help you go through this process:
Even though I carry inside me a safety program that says bad things about me and tries to keep me small and out of trouble, I’m okay the way I am and I now thank that old program for working so hard to keep me safe.
Even though my safety program is so outdated, still working on the parameters I set as kid, I’m okay the way I am, and I now choose to create a fitting update for the old program.
Even though I still have to think about what I want my old safety program to do for me now, I’m okay the way I am, and I allow myself to come up with some great ideas for an updated support program.
So what did you choose for your old program? How will it support you now?
Btw, if you want to go deeper on topics like this one, head to this page and schedule a free, 30 min Assessment Call with me in which we explore how I can help you.
Image source: F. Moebius