Transform that Boiling Rage



Do you have this strange inner fury? Are there times when you just want to scream at your kids, and can barely hold it in? Are your cursing your life regularly?

I know that feeling.

There is an underlying anger inside you, all day long. A sense of deep dissatisfaction. An urgency you can’t explain. And if someone or something offers the opportunity to explode without harming anyone – you do it, right? You cuss in the car, where nobody can hear you. Or on those rare moments when you’re alone in the house and stump your toe. Then you really let rip loose.

And it feels good. It’s wonderful to vent that anger, to finally let that fury out that has been choking us inside.

Except it doesn’t solve the problem. Because the problem are not the kids, nor the driver that cut you off, or that cupboard you can’t seem to avoid. The problem sits much deeper, and it’s something you have not acknowledged for a long time. Something you dare not look at. Because there is the fear it would be so overwhelming that it’ll stop you from functioning.

Basically, it’s this: Everyone has dreams. And then life happens. And if you have the kind of anger that I mentioned above, chances are that life has carried you far, far away from your dreams.

When I graduated, I wanted to become a teacher, raise a family and have a house in the countryside, with a cat and a dog. Sounds familiar? Well, things happened, life went on, and right now I live in an apartment in town, without kids or pets. At least there is a small park across the street.

It’s possible you’re deeply unhappy about the life you’re having right now. But you also feel that you can’t change anything. You need that job, you need the house, you have to run yourself ragged, just to get everything done. And that makes you angry. Feeling trapped like this would probably make anyone angry.

The bad news is that you won’t get rid of that anger and unhappiness unless you change things in your life despite everything that’s going on.

The good news is that I can help you to start creating change.

One important step to do so is to transform your anger. Because this deep, unrelenting anger is costing you. It dominates your mindset and it kills creativity. It takes a lot of energy, too, both for the simmering and for keeping it in check. Imagine what you could do if that energy were there for you to change things? How far could being creative take you?

So let’s take a little step. Let’s shift that anger and help you find a more positive mindset.

Tap along with me.

KP: Even though I’m so angry at where I am right now, this is not how I planned my life, I’m okay the way I am and I’m open to the possibility that I can change it for the better.

Even though I’m furious at the situation I’m stuck in, I’m okay the way I am and I’m open to the possibility that I can turn all that fury into creative energy.

Even though I am so deeply unhappy that I have to turn it into anger so I can live with it, I’m okay the way I am and I now allow myself to see that unhappiness and so something about it.

OE: I’m so furious!
E: I’m so angry!
UN: This life is horrible!
CP: It’s not at all what I wanted.
CB: And now I’m stuck in it.
AW: I hate this!
Take a deep breath!

IE: I rant because that’s the only thing left to me.
OE: But deep inside, I just want change.
E: Except I can’t!
UN: I need this job, I need the money.
CP: I have kids, and I want to take good care of them.
CB: So I’m stuck.
UA: And that makes me furious!
AW: Because I see no way out.
Take a deep breath!

IE: But maybe this fury has also been blinding me.
OE: Maybe it’s costing me more than I think.
E: Maybe it was an attempt at feeling better
UN: that’s no longer working for me.
CP: Maybe I can find a better way of feeling better.
CB: Maybe I can find a way out of the unhappiness.
UA: That would be kinda nice.
AW: It would be good to let go of that anger.
Take a deep breath!

IE: I know choose to transform that anger
OE: into a desire for change.
E: I choose to transform that anger into creativity.
UN: And I allow myself to reconnect to my dreams.
CP: I allow myself to do something that resonates with those dreams.
CB: I choose to funnel all that anger energy into creativity.
UA: And I choose to use all that creativity for a first small step of change.
AW: And that feels much, much better.
Take a deep breath!

But how? Well, that isn’t really your job. First of all, you have to figure out what you want. And then act on it. Maybe you can take a few riding lessons. Maybe an art class. Or dancing. Whatever makes you happy. Your creativity will allow you to fit it into your life.

And your kids will be happy when you’re happy.

So, what is your choice? What part of your dreams will you now include in your life? Share it in the comments, to encourage other women in the same situation.

Image: F. Moebius

PS: If you don’t know how to tap, or those abbreviations are all Greek to you, sign up for my free ebook on the right hand side. It’s all explained in there.

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2 Responses to Transform that Boiling Rage

  1. Devin de Gruyl says:

    This particular post came along at just the right time; I’ve feelt a boiling inner rage in me for most of the past two weeks now. (I know this post is a few days old, but I only just now got the email notification of it, due to some problems with my account.)

    I can’t wait to try this out!

    • Frauke Möbius says:

      Hi Devin,
      I’m glad it feels like the post may be helpful. Let me know how it works for you!

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