Letting go of Failure



Everyone makes mistakes. And some are trivial. Some we can laugh away, and some are simply forgotten over the years. However, some feel like a millstone around your neck – and those cost precious energy every day.

We have reasons to hang on to the shame of making a big mistake. Most of all, we hope that if we keep that feeling alive, we’ll never make that mistake again. Remembering this one or these couple of failures with deep pain and shame, will protect us. As long as we replay those minutes in our mind, we should be safe from a repetition.

At least that’s the idea. Sadly, it doesn’t really work.

Aside from costing energy to keep those emotions alive but also at a managable distance, we are not really that likely to do better the next time around. That’s because the fear of failing again gets stronger the longer we hang on to our emotions about that particular event. It can even paralyse us.

I think it’s clear now why it is better to let go of such failures and move on. Yet that’s hard to do, because we have internal programming that reminding us of everything that we did wrong. Fortunately, EFT can be used to rewrite that internal programming.

Here we go (you can substiture your own, more specific phrases):

KP: Even though I totally screwed up big time and I’m so disappointed with myself, I’m okay the way I am and I’m open to the possibility that I can actually get over it.

Even though I’m so angry at myself for failing this, I’m okay the way I am and I’m open to the possibility that maybe it’s not the end of all things.

Even though I’m scared I will repeat this failure again if I don’t flail around in shame, I’m okay the way I am and I’m open to the possibility that I can learn from my mistakes.

IE: I totally screwed up!
OE: I failed miserably.
E: And I’m so disappointed and ashamed.
UN: I failed myself and my dreams.
CP: I can never wash away that shame.
CB: Such an abyssmal failure …
UA: I can’t believe I did that.
AW: I made a huge mistake, and I’m a failure.
Take a deep breath!

IE: I’m so ashamed.
OE: I made a huge mistake, and there’s much failure.
E: And I feel sooo ashamed and small.
UN: And I want to keep my shame!
CP: Because that’s my safeguard.
CB: As long as I have that shame …
UA: I’ll never do this again.
AW: I need this safeguard. And that’s why I keep my shame.
Take a deep breath!

IE: But maybe I don’t have to wallow in shame?
OE: Maybe I can learn that lesson well and let go of shame?
E: Maybe I’m intelligent enough to learn that lesson and let go of the pain?
UN: That would feel better …
CP: Maybe I don’t need all that pain and shame and failure feeling anymore.
CB: Maybe I can let it go after all.
UA: I sure learned a lesson through this mistake.
AW: And I sure won’t do that again – it’s too painful.
Take a deep breath!

IE: I now allow myself to let go of that shame.
OE: I choose to let go of that feeling of failure.
E: I also choose to remember the lesson well.
UN: Because I’m teachable and smart.
CP: I don’t need this feeling of shame to avoid making that mistake twice.
CB: I choose to let go of the shame.
UA: I choose to let go of that feeling of failure.
AW: And that feels so much better!
Take a deep breath!

Keep tapping if the shame and feeling of failure are not gone after one round. Check with you and go through this round a couple of times. You can vary the phrases to fit your shifts.

If those abbreviations are a mystery to you, check out my EFT guide “Your First Tapping Miracle”. You can learn how EFT works through it.

Image source: F. Moebius

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